Experimentation
by yiyjfgyty
Summary: Mello returns from a much needed break, only to get a story out of Matt that is sure to require another one. Sometimes, his freind was worse than the Kira case... Oneshot for now. Kind of Cracky. R and R, please. Rated for strong language.
1. Return

((A/N: So, here's the thing

((A/N: So, here's the thing. One, I'm SO happy to be writing up a Death Note fanfiction. It's been ages! I have more up my sleeve…

Second thing is, I don't know if I want this to be a oneshot or not! So, you tell me what you want. I work for my readers, after all. ))

Experimentation

A fanfiction by: Mr.Trite

Mello knew something was wrong the minute he walked into the apartment.

With shifty eyes, the young blonde opened the door, shutting it quietly behind him after he entered. Everything he saw was clean and tidy, put into its place. Which, knowing the home's babysitter, was extremely odd. After all, the guy was so oblivious to the rest of the world that the mafia could blow the kitchen into a million pieces, and all he'd notice was that his Pokè-whatevers gained another level. Setting down his suitcase, Mello looked to the floor and gingerly took an exaggerated step inside, thinking of just opening the door back up and calling his friend's cell phone for clarification to see of the apartment wasn't radioactive. Instantly, he cowered back, covering his face like something was due to explode. When nothing did, Mello peeped out from behind his arms. He placed them back at his side and opened his mouth.

"Matt?" Mello called out, taking another step inside. He heard a door slam in response, a hasty one at that. Which was _never_ a good sign. Mello sighed. _Might as well go see what he's up to…_ thought the older man, giving a lengthy sigh. How the hell he had managed to become the third highest ranking child at Whammy's House, Mello would never know. The older blond continued onward, stopping from time-to-time in order to check out a certain detail of his home. Was the painting at a weird angle? Did a rat just skid across the floor? There just had to be something wrong here, he could _feel_ it.

The bathtub was on. Maybe that's what was wrong. After all, it was only…two o'clock? Matt didn't shower until early morning. He was too busy playing God-knows-what. _Probably some sort of hentai_, Mello thought with a roll of his eyes. Whatever _that _was. The blond rapped his knuckle against the bathroom door, curious. He was almost positive he had heard a gasp. "Matt?" No response, save for the thundering water. Mello looked up the ceiling and shut his blue eyes, sighing. Did he _really_ want to see what was going on in there? Taking a deep breath, Mello sucked it all in and twisted the doorknob. Sometimes, he thought, dealing with Matt was scarier than having to deal with Kira.

Well, whatever Mello had been expecting, it didn't happen. The bathroom was actually pretty clean, the only noise coming from the bathtub. The shower curtain was drawn, so Mello couldn't see what was going on. _It's just Matt taking a shower_, Mello deducted. With a smirk, the blonde turned on his heel and went to walk out of the bathroom.

Wait.

If Matt was taking a shower, why was the _faucet_ running?

Glancing back at the stall, Mello inhaled, in order to calm himself. In and out…In and out… Mello called yet again, clenching his hands into fists. "Matt?" His partner responded with a gasp, followed by loud humming and whistling, as if he were actually in the shower. Mello tried again. "Matt?" When he got no response, Mello glared at the shower. God, that was one ugly curtain. When he spoke again, his teeth were clenched so tightly, Mello thought they just might shatter. "_Matthew." _

You could hear Matt fumble with something in the shower, followed by a loud, frightened whimper. The shower curtain moved, and seventeen-year-old Mail Jeevas, aka 'Matt', popped his head out from behind it. His large brown eyes were covered by a pair of thick, orange-tinted goggles. "M…Mello!" the teenager greeted shakily, a worried smile coming onto the boy's face. "Uh…You're back! Have a good trip?" It was a trick Mello simply wasn't going to fall for.

"Matt…What are you doing?" Mello's blue eyes were lowered with impatience, and he tapped one finger on his arm, which was crossed with his other. If anything, the twenty-one year old looked more like an angry mother then a gun-wielding genius with a temper and an arsenal of men. Matt gulped, and once again tried on a worried smile, false hope dotting it.

"I'm just…taking a shower! What's it look like I'm doing, Mel?" The nickname only made the blond madder. If there was one thing he hated being called, it was _Mel. _

"If you were taking a shower," Mello spat, "It'd actually be _on_. And, second of all, unless you're _that_ petrified of getting shampoo in your eyes, you wouldn't be wearing your goggles. Care to explain?" The color instantly drained from the red-head's face, causing Mello to smirk. Got him.

"I…Well, you're kind of right! My eyes, they're really sensiti—"

"Bullshit. You stay up until four o'clock in the morning playing video games every single day. And you start back up again at six. I doubt your eyes are in poor condition."

"Well, the shampoo screws with my eyesight, which is already pretty b—"

"I have your medical records, genius. 20/20 vision."

When Mello heard the sigh, airy and long, he instantly knew he had won. Frowning like a kicked puppy, Matt hung his head low, defeated. Mello reached up and rubbed his hand though the waterfall of red strands, trying his best not to snicker. "There, there." he soothed, his tone of voice clearly suggesting otherwise. When Matt looked up, a tiny smirk danced across his face, gone the instant it arrived.

"You're a jerk, you know that?" Mello let out a sharp laugh in return.

"I'm well aware. Now, move. I want to see what you're up to." With that, Mello pushed away the shower curtain, causing Matt to wince and step back. Not like there was enough room to do so, anyway.

There stood Matt, fully clothed, except for his feet, which peeked out bare from his jeans. Next to him, were a pile of dirty dishes, stacked all around the running faucet. In one of his gloved hands- Not his expensive leather ones, but yellow and rubbery- Was a worn blue sponge. In the other, a bottle of dark green dish soap. Mello simply stood there, taken aback. "What, may I ask, are you _doing_?" Matt grinned sheepishly.

"Washing… the…dishes?" Matt giggled nervously as Mello eyed him, one blond eyebrow raised is disbelief.

"And do you care to explain _why_ you're washing the dishes in the bathtub?" When Matt shook his head, still laughing, Mello ran his hand over his face. Maybe if he just closed his eyes, he'd wake up from this nightmare and everything would be alright…When he opened them again, and Matt was still staring at him, Mello muttered something in a language foreign to the other male's ear and turned sharply on his heel, heading for the kitchen. This caused Matt to leap out of the bathtub, his mouth hung wide open.

"Mello, wait! Don't turn on the sink!" Oh, like _that_ was going to help Matt's case. Already, Mello could hear the footsteps pounding behind him, running to the kitchen to see if maybe, just _maybe_, he could get there before his blonde-headed superior. And, although Matt was quick, Mello was even quicker. The blonde skidded into the kitchen, the soles of his boots making a black mark on the marble white floor tile. The room looked just as untouched as the rest of the place, but Mello could just imagine what the fridge and pantry looked like. Empty would be a good word. The older male approached the sink and turned the hot water handle, vaguely making out the shape of the red-headed counterpart from the corner of his eye, extending a gloved hand forward. "No!"

At first, nothing. The only thing that emitted from the sink was a loud, gargled noise that rung through-out the room. Mello looked at Matt with confusion on his face. "All you did was cause a build-up." Mello said, causing Matt to smile briefly. "It won't be all that hard to clean it u--" Before Mello got a chance to speak, however, the sink released just what it was holding back.

A long, disgusting spew of dark brown ooze suddenly erupted from the sink, splashing over Mello as it hit the bottom. The blonde gave what could almost be described as a shriek as he stumbled backwards, cursing up a storm in both English and his native tongue. 'Turn if off!" Mello screamed over the noise, covering his eyes with a ducked head, "For the love of God turn it off!" Mello kept on howling at his partner until the spray stopped, and he dared to look up. Matt looked just as shocked, his brown eyes wide behind the goggles he wore over them. Managing to take his eyes away from the sink, Matt met with Mello's sharp blue ones, bubbling over with anger. "Ha…So much for a simply build-up, eh Mello? …Mello?"

It was then that Mello exploded. Just a mere inch taller than Matt, the blond had the advantage in strength. He grabbed Matt by the collar of his furry, sleeveless vest and scowled, sky blue eyes so hot with anger the red-head was expecting them to turn red at any time. "Matt," The older man spat, "What the _fuck_ is all over me?!" Clearly shocked by Mello's actions- Although, after knowing him for so long, it was to be expected- Matt laughed nervously. This only seemed to anger Mello even further.

"It…Well…It appears to be sewage, Mello …" Clearly expecting Mello to hit him, Matt cringed. Instead, he was merely tossed against the wall. Mello sighed and ran his hand over his face.

"Just…Matt, do I even want to _know_?" Mat simply shrugged.

"Well, I guess when the water bill comes in, you will." Mello, in returned, kicked a kitchen chair, sending in spiraling. Matt jumped. Mello slowly turned his head towards Matt and sighed again. The red-head gestured towards the kicked chair- It was a wonder its leg hadn't shattered- and looked to his friend. "Why don't you sit down for this one? I think you'll need to."

And, with that, Mello sat and buried his head in his hands, sure that he would regret asking by the time Matt was finished.


	2. Chapter 2 Day One, Part One

Experimentation: Chapter Two

A fanfiction by: Mr. Trite

"And don't forget to shut the freezer when you're done with it!" For about the millionth time, I sighed and rolled my eyes. Of course, you didn't see that; you were too busy yelling at me. What else is new? You were carrying that huge black suitcase in your hand, and I guess that was the only thing keeping you from demonstrating which light switch did what or something. Even though you never let me touch the third one on the left. I sighed.

"Okay, Okay." Really, I was growing impatient by then. It was just about one thirty, and you had a private jet to catch. Although, now that I think about it, if you're not on a private jet by a scheduled time, does it leave without you? After all, it _is_ private. You scowled at me and put a hand on your hip. Really, I love it when you do that when you're mad. It makes you look like a woman. A really _sexy _woman. But, I wouldn't tell you that. Because you slap like a really sexy woman, too. And those tend to hurt.

"Okay, I'm just checking." Still standing by the door, you took a good look around the house, like you were coming back in five _years_ instead of five days. Almost like you were trying to photograph the scene in you mind. Just in case, you know, there's a dust mote on the coffee table when you get home.

Anyway, you must have finally decided that it was cool to go, because you looked at me. Actually, it was more of an icy glare. Like I broke your motorcycle already. Not like I was going to or anything. On purpose.

"Alright Matt, I'm leaving now." you said, pulling a pair of black shades over yours eyes. Without looking back, you opened the front door behind you and stepped out. "Just remember everything I told you to do, okay?" I rolled my eyes. "I'll try not to set the place of fire." I muttered, and then looked at you with a big smile on my face. "Okay, Mello!" I chirped. "You got it!" A tiny smile crossed your face, but I doubt you realized it. I almost laughed at that- Had I really fooled you so _easily_? Man Mello, sometimes you're just too easy—

"I'm easy to fool, is that what you're going to say? I'm _easy to fool_? I'll just have you know, I was finally happy to get out of that house! You _obviously _weren't listening to me, huh smartass?"

"Smartass? Me? Oh, come on Mello. I'm an _angel_. Can I go on with the story now?"

"…Fine. Whatever."

_Anyway_, avoiding _that_ subject, you started telling me what to do again. Just always have to get in that last word, don't 'cha? "Now Matt, if you actually have a situation when you need to call my real cell phone- And you better not- who do you ask for, _just in case?_" I smile. It's funny that you can be so paranoid, and yet easy to f—Uh, _play around with_. God Mello, that glare is scary.

"When that happens, I ask for Nate River, aka Near, right?" You grinned at that.

"Excellent. Well, you seem like you've got everything all under control, so I'll be leaving now. Call me only if you need me, alright?" When I nodded, you returned it. "And maybe, just _maybe_, I'll get you a little trinket or something, okay?" I practically jumped up and hugged you at the sound of that. With any luck, that little 'trinket' would be that 5,000 life-sized statue of Yuffie Kisaragi I saw on the internet the other day. Ah, Yuffie…

"5,000?! _Five thousand dollars?!_

"Dude, you rule the Mafia. I bet you've got five-thousands dollars in your pocket right now."

"…Just shut up and continue."

Anyway, with a final nod, you walked out the door, locking it behind you. Automatically, I walked to the nearest window and watched you walk down the steps and to the unmarked, black car waiting for you at the end of the driveway. I wonder if they knew you were carrying a gun in your pocket, just in case. Depends if he was actually some kidnapper or not. I mean, you could shake some guy's hand and he'd instantly know you have about ten pistols on you. I bet even know, as you stare at me like I told you I was L in disguise, you've got one or two hidden in your boots.

I guess it was actually your escort after all, because I watched as the car drove off into a tiny black speck, and finally blurred into nothingness. It was that, that final little thing, that made me realize I was _finally_ home by myself. I let out a whoop of happiness, grinning wildly. I had been waiting for the day you'd leave me home alone ever since you had me come with you, and I just didn't know what to do first!

Particularly because I didn't know what to do in the first place.

Shrugging, I made my way over to the couch and plopped myself down, taking out the remote from in between two couch cushions, and flipped it on. The minute I did, the TV responded in a flurry of black and white fuzz, making that annoying buzzing noise. I could only stare at it, my mouth hanging open a bit as I did so.

…Hey, do you think TV companies do that just to mesmerize people so they watch the TV's even longer, earning them more money? Seriously, I think that's why they do that. Same as that one channel with all the funky colored bars that reminds me of a rave. But instead of awesome techno music, there's just this really annoying bee…_What?_ What am I doing wrong? I'm just trying to give you _visuals! _ No need to glare at me like that, Mello. I'll get back on track. God.

Okay, so _anyway, _I didn't know what was happening. I mean, the TV had been fine an hour ago while I was watching that really cool show about that guy who sees what crappy jobs people have for a living- Man, I feel bad for _those_ losers. I mean, I work for the guy in control of the mafia! How badass is _that_? So, yeah, I freaked. I mean, I promised some dudes on Live I'd meet them for an all night Halo tournament that night! So, of course, I grabbed the nearest phone I could find and called you up.

You answered way quicker than I thought you would. "Mello?!" I asked, a little frantic. I instantly realized what I had done.

"What did we just go over, Matt?" You weren't screaming, but I could tell you were red in the face already.

"Sorry!" I gasped, and you gave an aggravated huff.

"Listen Matt, you better have not set the stove on fire already, or so help me God I will-"

"It's not that! Listen, I…I…I think somebody stole our cable! The TV, it's…" At that point, I realized you hadn't interrupted me yet. Normally, you would already be on a two hour rampage about how I called you Mello instead of Near. Well, excuse _me_. You gave me so many rules; I'm shocked I had just forgotten the _one_.

"…Are you _stupid_, or something?" I recoiled- Stupid? I thought you'd be pretty concerned, actually- God forbid you miss one episode of Iron Chef. "I told you to only call me in case of emergencies! Knowing you, you probably sat on the stupid remote and changed the channel!" I sat there, dumbfounded as you went on. "And if you call me on more time, I swear I'll call Ross and have him baby-sit you. And I know how much you like Ross." This sent shivers down my spine. Rod Ross, 6"2', liked me just about as much as I like the twelve-year old idiots on Live. And, trust me, I _really _hate them.

"O…Okay Mello." I said, unsure if you had heard me or not, my voice was so quiet. The sharp click on the other end signaled your leave. I turned the remote around in my hand and shrugged, hitting the channel button up one. Instantly, the TV filled with color as a golf tournament came onto the screen. Eh, nothing special. After al, I preferred _Mario_ Golf. Shrugging, I tossed the TV remote, figuring their was nothing good on TV anyway.

_Whack!_ I looked up from the screen, confused. Peering over my left shoulder, the direction I threw the remote, I noticed that there were three mechanical pieces lying next to the closest wall. Sighing, I got up from my seat to look it over. Playing Wii all the time must have seriously beefed me up, because the remote lay in shambles at my feet.

And that's how I knew it was going to be a _long _five days.


End file.
